A moody day

The sky is so gloomy today so is my mood. I haven't actually had a real smile on my face today. I feel so tired mentally and physically. I really have to admit that I am not good at programming at all but I have to do 3 programming assignment every single week. Two of them are for my computer science class which involve writing in C and assembly language MIPS while another one is for my work as an undergraduate assistant which involving using Visual Basic in Excel. I am too overwhelmed with the programming assignments that we have to do.Even though I have two partners working together for the two mps, I still feel very stressful since I don't want to be the useless one in the group but I have admit that I am slow in understanding difficult concepts. Imagine having to meet your lab partners more than twice a week and at the end of each meeting, one of my partners will ask the same question :"When are we going to meet for the next mp?" I have been thinking of going swimming for relaxing since I miss swimming in the Aquatics Center without having to worry about completing my mp. I know that there are much more important things in the world than programming but this is my life and I have to live with it even if it numbs my feelings. The worst part is that since one of my mp is due on Friday, I am going to celebrate my birthday by doing programming with my lab partners.It is not that I don't want to tell my partners that I need a break for my birthday but it is just that even if I am free on the day, I don't have anything in mind to do since most of my friends are busy on that day.

My very first Illini hockey Game

Illinois vs Ohio


The players are so aggressive and serious.




A performance on the ice during a short break


A bunch of cute kids who are hilarious since they can barely balance themselves on the ice and yet their sport spirits are high.



Two weeks ago, I get email from the university's recreation department telling me that I have won two illini hockey tickets in their lucky draw so I invited Teda to come with me for the game. Even though Teda and I doesn't know anything about ice hockey but we feel like we should grab this chance to explore more about hockey game. The game that day is between Illinois and Ohio. It turns out that it was more than an ordinary hockey game. Every time when the players make a mistake or have a scary fight, some rock music will be played and the audience will start singing and dancing together. Sometimes the players are too obsess with the game that they just keep scoping on ice in the hope of getting the ball and there are a few times where the ball actually fly out from the court to the audiences who sat beside us. It is funny that when the players starts fighting for the ball that the little kids start screaming excitedly, encouraging them to have continue fighting. Then there are dance performance on the ice by a group of girls. I was amazed by how gracefully they dance on the ice. Moreover, a bunch of kids who barely know how to skate are competing against each other during one of the breaks. Even though in the beginning of the game,a few of them fell down several times but they still didn't give up. I am impressed with their high spirits in the game. At last, Illinois won the game by 4 to 0 so it is a big victory for us and the poor Ohio players had to bear with our supporters shouting "Hey,you sucks!!!!" throughout the game. Overall, it is quite an experience for me and I would like to go for another hockey game if possible.

An unexpected gathering

That day Shamini and I bought the food from our favorite Indian shop even though we just had our lunch in a chinese restaurant. Then Teda came and knocked the door and I asked her to join us for the yummy dinner. I always like the rice in the indian shop since it tastes like nasi briyani and i miss the fragrant curry which has a very nice smell that can wafts through the air and makes me feel hungry. So, when we are having that dinner, I suggested taking photographs because I guess it may be the last gathering for her over here. I really miss every single moment with you........

她回去了

今天，我送走了她。在那前往飞机场的路途中，我看着窗外的风景，不时地转过头望一望坐在我身旁的她，我想她大概只一心想着要尽快回到那个属于她的家吧。一路上我一直保持沉默，一方面是因为昨晚我只睡了大约三个小时，另一方面是因为我在静静思考着。我记得我对她埋怨过即使我考到了理想的成绩，我很清楚地知道我并不快乐。她告诉我这是我的选择，我选择了学业，而她却选择了亲情与友情，既然我决定了我的选择，我就只能默默地祈祷，希望我的选择能为我带来我要的幸福。其实，她说得对，即使我在这里不见得活得快乐，但在那前往飞机场的路途中，我发觉现在的我并不想回去，因为我答应了自己无论情况变得多么恶劣，我必须坚强地撑下去，因为我到美国的目的是为了要实现我的梦，所以在我尚未完成我的任务之前我是不会回去的。可是，这并不代表我选择放弃我的家人，因为在我心目中家人的地位是十分重要的，我甚至觉得我在乎他们多过我自己。其实，我一直觉得自己很没有用，什么都不会，学任何东西都比别人慢，又不善于表达我的想法，所以我只有不断地努力。但，世界上有太多的东西并不是光靠努力就能得到的，例如友情与爱情，曾经答应过会爱你一辈子的人可以变成一个让你恨之入骨的人，交来的知心朋友即使希望留在你身边但却还是要回到那个属于她的地方。也许她说得对，现在的我变了，在那灿烂笑容的背后多了些悲酸，难道这就是成长所要付出的代价吗？

Michelle,I miss you

I received a sms from my ex-roommate today. I can still remember the day when she left without bother to say goodbye to me or even leave a note for me. It was the last day of my final exams but I have to sit for my last paper until 9 o'clock in the evening. When I open the door of my dorm, I was stunned when I realized that half of my room became empty already.I was speechless and rooted to the spot and the next thing I know is that a tear dropped down my face. All the while I thought that I have actually able to find a true friend in this foreign land but the fact that she left without saying goodbye made me wonder if she thought that I am nothing more than an ordinary roommate for her. I tried to call her a few times after she left but she didn't pick up her phone and I tried contacting her through facebook but I end up finding people who share the same name as her. I would have to admit that my second semester over here will be a disaster if she is not with me. She taught to speak up for myself and she encourage me to chase for my own happiness. She also used to have a cute boyfriend who always like to scare me by looking fiercely at me while telling me that "I am going to break you!!!!" but before the semester ends, my roommate actually taught me to crush a tin in front of him and tell him the same sentence :"I am going to break you!!". It is so funny that my roommate laugh so hard. Now,once in a while, I will come across the guy and he reminds me of her every time I meet him but he never bother to say hi to me and pretend that he didn't know me. However, after more than 6 months since she left, she sends a message to me just to ask how am I recently. I thought she must have forgotten all about me after such a long time but her sms proves me wrong and I am touched. Michelle, I just want to tell you that I miss you so much!

A good souvenir that I bought from disneyland

Those who went together with me for the California trip may still remember that I actually bought a mickey-shaped egg shapers from Disneyland.I gave one of the egg shaper to Huey Shann so I wonder if she start using it.So far,I only use it twice-one to cook for Alicia and another for Shamini(I actually haven't eaten my "special shaped" egg until now).Some may think that the egg shaper is redundant but I find it cute and it brighten my days by frying the cute egg.

寂寞

当寂寞的铃声响起，我又想起了他，一个让我又爱又恨的人。我付出了我的真心，但换来的却是他的绝情。好不容易才交上的好友也将要离我而去。为什么几乎每个学期的开始我都会独自落泪？我已经尽量避免一个人走在那无人且漆黑的街上，但我还是逃不了独自在那空虚的房间哭泣的命运。为什么我每次都要从零开始？为什么我总要带着满满的希望去寻找那个懂得我的人然后又无奈地看着他悄悄地离去？难道我真的注定了必须一个人度过我在这里的日子吗？我真的能继续撑下去吗？难道那个愿意给我依靠的肩膀真的不可能出现吗？

A Happy Day

Today, Shamini accompanied me to the Aquatics Center to swimming.Even though I have come to this university for more than 1 and 1/2 year,I have never stepped into the Aquatics Center in the Campus Recreation Center before. The Aquatics Center is actually a very cool place to swim and have fun.There are a small jacuzzi area, water slide and even a water volleyball court. There are a lot of people in the swimming pool.Most parents like to bring their kids to the swimming pool and they splash water all over the place. I like the place a lot and I plan to visit the place more often once the school starts. After swimming for almost an hour,we walk to Flat Top for lunch.The food is quite nice especially the dessert. The dessert is called "Triple Chocolate Storm" and it is really yummy!!!Shamini, thank you so much for such a nice treat!!!


Aquatics Center



Our Mix-and-Match meal



Our dessert-Triple Chocolate Storm



Me and my yummy dessert

I JUST WANNA BRUSH MY TEETH

I was still sleeping on my comfortable bed before Shamini wake me up this morning. She told me water is coming out from the toilet bowl so much so that the whole bathroom is flooded and the water even start coming out to my bedroom!!Then I had to get out from my bed and call the maintenance people to come over and fixed the toilet.When I try to open the door for the maintenance guy,I realized that even my kitchen is flooded but the weird thing is no water coming out from any part of the kitchen(not even from the sink). The guy told me that something is stuck in the toilet but even he had no idea about the water on the kitchen.However, he told me that somebody will come over later and extract all the water out for me. He also told me that I will not be responsible for paying for the mess since I had no idea that pushing a button behind the toilet bowl will have stop the water from flooding the place. This is the second time in US that my place is flooded.Even though the first time happened when I was back in a temporary dorm,I am very upset now.Sigh.......All I want is just to brush my teeth.....why?????

Am I meant to be alone?

Am I meant to be alone all the time when I study in US? Looking back at all the things that I have done in US,I realized that I have been spending too much time on my studies. I really didn't make that many new friends.I seldom take the initiative to talk to new people.All I did was just staying within the same circle of friends and treat them as good as possible or calling friends whom I meet in INTEC and talk to them for hours whenever I feel lonely. I used to be to dependent on my friends because they are the only support I get when I am here. But,now, who should I depend on? I don't want the same dull life again. I don't want to live like a machine created just to study and get good results. But, what else can I do?Those who claim to love me left me when I need them the most while those who really do love me end up leaving me too. It seems to me that nobody wants to be besides me no matter how hard I tried. Am I that bad? What have I done to deserve all these?

Nasi Tomato

椰汁汤圆

The one and only dessert I made for my guest-Alicia. I try eating it while it was still warm then I try putting it into the fridge.The tang yuen tastes so good with the cold coconut milk!!!!