What is the purpose of studying?

I don't really feel like eating these few days. Of course, it is not about dieting. I think I hate the days when I feel like I eat for the sake of eating because I no longer savor the taste of food. Life over here is mundane. All I did every day is going to class,doing programming or studying. I find it difficult to find any entertainment over here. Even if I did, having fun alone just makes me feel lonelier. So, what is the purpose of studying? To prepare for the endless exams ahead of us?I think I just wish that I can find little surprises in my boring student life.

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Busy

Thanks for all the concerns and regards that I have received these few weeks.Sorry if I didn't have time to reply some of you. When some classes are getting more demanding, I find out that I didn't have any time left for myself. I can only say that I am busy and I am trying my best to do everything right. These few weeks I had been studying and doing assignments in the library for almost every day including weekend. Do I get to stop and rest for a while? I guess now. As far as I know, I had one exam tomorrow and another exam(the one that I failed last time) in the coming week. Apart from that, some other problems trouble me. My ex-housemate apparently didn't turn in her key for our previous apartment and my landlord sent me a letter stating the costs for everything including the repairs in my previous apartment. Then, there is another problem caused by her boyfriend who didn't pay for his phone bill and end up having all of us who share the same phone plan to divide the amount among ourselves. Maybe it is a question of ethics but I feel so annoyed that I had to suffer because of the irresponsibility of others. Hopefully everything will be settled soon.

I fail my first midterm

Today is a bad day for me. I just found out that I get20.5/60 for my first CS373 midterm. This is lowest score I had ever get so far. Even though the average is not high(29-30), I am so surprised and worried when I found out about my score. I kept telling myself there must be some mistakes in grading but I feel even worse when I got back my paper. I remember I had a tough week last week. Exam...paper....programming....assignment..feeling sick.....I thought I had tried my best to sort things out but I think I was wrong. I didn't get enough sleeps nor eating enough food just to make sure that I can finish doing all those things but everything went wrong. I was supposed to rush to my East Asian Literature class but I was so keen on finish the readings for that class that I end up going late to my discussion. When I reached the classroom, I found out that everybody has started doing their weekly quizzes and all I had is less than 5 minutes to finish the quiz and I don't even get a chance to finish reading all those questions. Then, my TA reminds us of the importance of being punctual to class. I think that it is unfair because I always arrive early to class but yet arriving late once makes me the "guilty" one. Why can't she be more understanding? Maybe it is my fault after all. I was feeling so sad so I thought reading might help but I don't realize that time passed by so fast and the next thing I do is running to the class. Is there anything I can do better? I think I had devoted most of my time finishing my assignment and studying for the exams. I don't know what else to do.

Sick of doing programming

I just finished the difficult exams on Thursday and yet I am not totally free now even though I do not have any exam next week. I still have my programming assignment every week and I have to write some code for my job as well. Programming...Programming and programming. I get tons of emails from my TA regarding the changes on this week programming assignment and my boss regarding future programming projects. To tell the truth, I don't like programming at all. I don't know what classes I plan to take next semester but I wish that I don't have to take any programming classes in the future. I really miss my computer architecture class but I don't really like the programming part. Once I start sitting in front of my computer to do my programming,I lost count of the difference between the day and the night and I lost count of the number of meals I had taken so far. I hating doing my programming during the weekend but there is nothing that I can do since I always take so much time to finish my assignment. Am I a machine or am I a real human being? If I am a real human being, why do I spend most of my time understanding the computer world? If I am a machine, why don't I understand how to do stuffs in their world? If I am in between, what should I do? Is there a balance that I can find?

Japan House and Ideal Garden