What is the purpose of studying?

I don't really feel like eating these few days. Of course, it is not about dieting. I think I hate the days when I feel like I eat for the sake of eating because I no longer savor the taste of food. Life over here is mundane. All I did every day is going to class,doing programming or studying. I find it difficult to find any entertainment over here. Even if I did, having fun alone just makes me feel lonelier. So, what is the purpose of studying? To prepare for the endless exams ahead of us?I think I just wish that I can find little surprises in my boring student life.

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Busy

Thanks for all the concerns and regards that I have received these few weeks.Sorry if I didn't have time to reply some of you. When some classes are getting more demanding, I find out that I didn't have any time left for myself. I can only say that I am busy and I am trying my best to do everything right. These few weeks I had been studying and doing assignments in the library for almost every day including weekend. Do I get to stop and rest for a while? I guess now. As far as I know, I had one exam tomorrow and another exam(the one that I failed last time) in the coming week. Apart from that, some other problems trouble me. My ex-housemate apparently didn't turn in her key for our previous apartment and my landlord sent me a letter stating the costs for everything including the repairs in my previous apartment. Then, there is another problem caused by her boyfriend who didn't pay for his phone bill and end up having all of us who share the same phone plan to divide the amount among ourselves. Maybe it is a question of ethics but I feel so annoyed that I had to suffer because of the irresponsibility of others. Hopefully everything will be settled soon.

I fail my first midterm

Today is a bad day for me. I just found out that I get20.5/60 for my first CS373 midterm. This is lowest score I had ever get so far. Even though the average is not high(29-30), I am so surprised and worried when I found out about my score. I kept telling myself there must be some mistakes in grading but I feel even worse when I got back my paper. I remember I had a tough week last week. Exam...paper....programming....assignment..feeling sick.....I thought I had tried my best to sort things out but I think I was wrong. I didn't get enough sleeps nor eating enough food just to make sure that I can finish doing all those things but everything went wrong. I was supposed to rush to my East Asian Literature class but I was so keen on finish the readings for that class that I end up going late to my discussion. When I reached the classroom, I found out that everybody has started doing their weekly quizzes and all I had is less than 5 minutes to finish the quiz and I don't even get a chance to finish reading all those questions. Then, my TA reminds us of the importance of being punctual to class. I think that it is unfair because I always arrive early to class but yet arriving late once makes me the "guilty" one. Why can't she be more understanding? Maybe it is my fault after all. I was feeling so sad so I thought reading might help but I don't realize that time passed by so fast and the next thing I do is running to the class. Is there anything I can do better? I think I had devoted most of my time finishing my assignment and studying for the exams. I don't know what else to do.

Sick of doing programming

I just finished the difficult exams on Thursday and yet I am not totally free now even though I do not have any exam next week. I still have my programming assignment every week and I have to write some code for my job as well. Programming...Programming and programming. I get tons of emails from my TA regarding the changes on this week programming assignment and my boss regarding future programming projects. To tell the truth, I don't like programming at all. I don't know what classes I plan to take next semester but I wish that I don't have to take any programming classes in the future. I really miss my computer architecture class but I don't really like the programming part. Once I start sitting in front of my computer to do my programming,I lost count of the difference between the day and the night and I lost count of the number of meals I had taken so far. I hating doing my programming during the weekend but there is nothing that I can do since I always take so much time to finish my assignment. Am I a machine or am I a real human being? If I am a real human being, why do I spend most of my time understanding the computer world? If I am a machine, why don't I understand how to do stuffs in their world? If I am in between, what should I do? Is there a balance that I can find?

Japan House and Ideal Garden

My New Room

My comfortable Bed

My DIY Notice Board

My desk

My Magical Mirror

Art Pieces from my Paper Making class

The white book with some Japanese titles is a gift from my teacher during my first Paper Making class. The scratch book with the beautiful black cover is the first scratch book I made in the class. Can you believe it? I actually made the three sheets of papers all by myself!

Stressful weekend

Sometimes I just wish that they will choose me over other stuffs but if I were put in the same situation that they faced,will I choose myself? Is it really about making a choice? Am I considerate enough? I admit that I was disappointed but at the same time, I have learned that they will make the same choice any way because that is their principles. Maybe I should care so much about what others think. I know that I still have my friends and my family to count on even though they maybe far away. It does not occur to me that I had to question about their choices because I know that deep down in their heart they really care about me and love me.


To my lovely brother, you sounded so sick in the phone last night. I am so worried. Hope that you will get well soon.

To my friends who are having a stressful weekend, I hope that tomorrow will be a new beginning for you.

Engineering Career Fair

This is the first time I actually have the courage to attend the Engineering Career Fair. I think that I am not good at talking to people at all. However, I don't really think that will be a big problem at all because most of the company representatives are just focusing on my resume. I talked to the guy from Intel but he said that they can't really hire international students except for those with a master degree in computer science but he still suggested me to contact the Intel in Malaysia . I was so disappointed and felt that I was discriminated. However, I feel lucky to talk to the representative from Motorola because I think it may be possible that I would have an internship in Motorola next summer. Actually, I am not sure if I want to stay in the States next summer but I definitely think that I should try attending the career fair this year since I am junior now. Besides, I have a mentee who were willing to accompany me to the career fair this semester. Now, I am just wondering if having a good resume is good enough for a job? I think I still have a long way to. I still need to sharpen my communication skills.

Accepting the changes in my life

Somehow,I feel like my life changes a lot in these few weeks since I came back from Malaysia. I had been through many experiences that I haven't been through in my life. I even feel weird coming back to my apartment because I didn't think that my apartment is the same anymore. Even though I still live in the same building and same floor,I somehow feel very different about my new apartment. Maybe because I had a new housemate now and I feel more comfortable living with her because now whenever I had a bad day in school hoping somebody could listen to my story, I can definitely count on my new housemate. Sometimes walking on the street in the campus makes me think of all the sweet memories that I had shared with my family and friends who come to visit me. I really miss them a lot. I feel that I am more willing to reveal the real me to them because I know that I can definitely trust them. The lucky thing is I get a chance to meet more people this semester. I am so surprised that I actually get a chance to meet 2 new workers in my office. I am still in the process of learning, learning how to socialize, learning how to excel in my field of study, learning how to be independent. I am sure that I will at least improve my social skills by the time I graduate from my beloved U of I. Maybe everything just happens so fast that I need some time to adapt but I think I will be fine.

Tired

Here I am.Sitting in front of my laptop while eating Teddy Grahams hoping to cheer myself up. Usually the first week of class tends to pass by very fast but this time it is quite different for me. I was nervous about taking a hard class for this semester and yet face the problem of getting a "homework" group for that class. Of course, I will still meet some familiar faces in my cs classes but as usual, I still don't know their names and find it difficult to find a coursemate whom I can count on. I feel so tired of searching for friends. I don't really mind attending class alone anymore but I am really worry that I can't find help if I have problem in my assignment. There are so many stuffs to do and yet I hate myself for not feeling well. I want to start doing serious work and yet I feel like I don't really have the energy to do so. This is just the second day of class and I start to feel the pressure given by my new job. Maybe the new semester just comes too soon for me.

我想我的冲劲又回来了

记得前几天刚从马来西亚回来时，我几乎失去了斗志，每回一旦想起我亲爱的家人与好友时就不竟泪流满面，甚至连搬新家的那种兴奋感也没有了。但是，现在只要望一望我的新房间就会发现我的冲劲又回来了。我想我开始懂得如何享受一个人生活的乐趣了！昨天，我一个人整个下午躲在房间看戏，感觉闷透了，想了一想便决定去游泳，而我的室友也十分乐意地陪同我到健身房去跑步。其实，我真的十分感谢我这位刚认识不久的室友及不时打电话给我的妈妈和姐姐，因为有了她们的陪伴，我不再感到如此地寂寞了！从前我一直希望能找到一位贴心的男友，或许这是因为我以为爱情能把寂寞赶走，但昨天当我看到一个女生在路上行走时，她与我擦肩而过的那一瞬间，我的脑海里突然出现一个念头：要是我能在这里遇到一个志同道合的好友，那该多好呀！所谓：在家靠父母，出外靠朋友， 与其去追求那虚幻的爱情，还不如珍惜那难得的友谊。

Photo Stickers to celebrate my sis's convocation

My sister's Graduation Dinner @ Purple Mango(Dance Club)

My Lovely Sister's Convocation

难忘的暑假过去了

难忘的暑假过去了，我又得回到那个我又爱又恨的地方。不知不觉我已在这个大学生活了两年，但奇怪的是刚从马来西亚回来的我却对这个我生活了两年的“家”感到陌生。记得当初未回大马的时候，我还带领着姐姐，阿姨及几位好友四处参观这个所谓的家。但，我好像无法找回那个家的感觉了。虽然我已经不是第一次回去怡保了，但这次的暑假了我更加想念我的家人与好友了，或许这是因为我跟他们相处的时间比上一次长吧。我记得坐在飞机上的我有好几次有想要回家的念头。一直以来，我都把对他们的思念压抑着，为的就是不要让自己难过，但我清楚地知道心里面其实多么地想念他们，尤其是我亲爱的姐姐。我真的很害怕一个人在这里生活，更加害怕自己再也找不到那独立的勇气。我想我又患上那无可救药的相思病了。

Photo Stickers

Lost World of Tambun Water Park @ Ipoh

I am pretending to play volleyball. Haha....I heard that our poses will become more natural after learning yoga. What do you think?

Tambun Hot Spring

Genting Trip

It was my first staying in Resort Hotel

I am holding two dolls that my sister and I won by playing the doll machine

The dolls are so cute. I won the pink doll while my sister got the grey one. So happy! hehe...^_^

My new food blog

A blog all about delicious food and I:
http://www.wretch.cc/blog/shinhwei