Of earthquake & burger
12 years ago
1.10.2008
Am I meant to be alone?
Am I meant to be alone all the time when I study in US? Looking back at all the things that I have done in US,I realized that I have been spending too much time on my studies. I really didn't make that many new friends.I seldom take the initiative to talk to new people.All I did was just staying within the same circle of friends and treat them as good as possible or calling friends whom I meet in INTEC and talk to them for hours whenever I feel lonely. I used to be to dependent on my friends because they are the only support I get when I am here. But,now, who should I depend on? I don't want the same dull life again. I don't want to live like a machine created just to study and get good results. But, what else can I do?Those who claim to love me left me when I need them the most while those who really do love me end up leaving me too. It seems to me that nobody wants to be besides me no matter how hard I tried. Am I that bad? What have I done to deserve all these?
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2 comments:
You gotta love yourself before others will love you. Be confident and independent. What will be will be. You can make an effort to go "searching" for your Mr Right but don't be so desperate until people think you're HUNTING for one deliberately. You can survive alone. Don't be too clingy
got to your blog from karen's. I'm taking ECON 204/CS 285 (Networks) so I'll tell you what I learn from it, and how you can improve your relationships.
There are two different kinds of people in a social network. The usuals, and the connectors. Most of us are the usuals. Many of our friends we know through just a few. So without these initial few, we wouldn't have that many friends. Just think, how did you get to know your friends. Was it through someone else? Themselves? Or did you initiate the contact yourself?
Connectors are people who are interested in people, people who have friends in many different domains. e.g. pub friends, colleagues, school mates, writer friends, politic friends, actor friends, plumber friends, etc etc. Connectors are people who can make even a stranger feel at home in no time. They are NOT those fake people who like to make lots of connections for the sake of making connections. Connectors just love people and they are brave enough to initiate the contact. Even if just mere acquaintances, they'll try hard to remember things about them (jot it down on notebook), like birthday or whatever. They like to help their friends. Their gratification comes from being able to help other people, if only acquaintances. Connector is very powerful in this sense because they can get help easily, and they can help other people. Lots of successful people are usually connectors.
So you see, you have a few strategies here. You can either be a Connector, or try to know more connectors. You can meet other friends through connectors. Alicia has a point there, but here I tell you some active approaches. If you decide to become a connector, make sure you're comfortable with it. Must be able to initiate contact easily, meet people eye to eye, can crack jokes, humorous, know lots of stuffs. Otherwise, you can meet new friends through knowing other connectors instead.
Sometimes, it's just personality. If you find you have nothing common to talk about with a new friend, forget it. Don't try to hard.
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