失眠的夜晚

今晚的我虽觉得有点累，但却不想睡，虽知道还有做不完的功课，但却只想把它们暂时忘掉。我失眠了吗？是因为我已经习惯了熬夜至凌晨吗？还是因为我不想这个星期五的夜晚那么快就结束？听着那温柔的音乐，对着那几乎与我朝夕相对的电脑，心中突然有一种说不出的平静。不为功课或考试而熬夜，只因为我爱黑夜的宁静而未入睡。哦，是的，这样的夜晚应该就是我所期待的吧。好希望下一寂静的夜晚能尽快来临哦！

我累了

今天早上起来时，觉得双眼好痛哦，大概是因为昨晚哭了的关系吧。我好不愿意离开那温暖的床，但我知道老师会点名，所以只好拖着那疲累无比的身躯去上课。平时上Physics课时，贴心的教授总会在中途时播放一些好笑的影片，通常我会笑得好开心，但今天即使我明明觉得那段影片真的很搞笑，我只能勉强的挤出一丝丝的微笑，仿佛是为了应酬而笑似的。中午回到房间时，我很快便躺在床上睡着了。在那短短一小时的睡眠里，我做了一个可怕的恶梦，最后还从梦中惊醒，被逼起床准备上下一堂课。迷迷糊糊的我觉得整个世界仿佛在旋转似的，就连走路也差一点撞到人。好不容易上完最后一堂课，但却要准备晚餐。也许做饭真的需要用心，今天的我连最简单的炒饭也炒不好，就连自己也觉得难以入口，怎么让Teda和Ily吃呢？我累了，我真的累了，我真的不晓得我那疲累的身躯还能撑到多久。

I wish I can be sick......at least i can give myself a break then

Didn't really eat much these few days....It is really a choice between food and sleep. Whenever I don't have enough sleep,I really don't have appetite to eat. Maybe you think that eating doesn't cost me that much time, but I need to spend time on cooking. I know very well that as long as I still have energy to do my work, I will keep doing unless I get sick.I really want to give myself a break.....but what can I do?Letting go is really not that easy especially when my target is to get to the top.

Heatlh VS Study

Today,in the beginning of my system programming class, my lecturer said "I hope that everyone in this class will be proud of what they did when graduating from the school". His words make me start thinking of my future, of my plan after graduating.I suddenly realized that I will a junior next semester and that I have to start preparing for my graduate school application. I knew that it is hard to get into the challenging 5-Year Master+Degree program because I have to maintain a GPA of 3.5 throughout the undergraduate years and 3.0 throughout the graduate years but I still want to give it a try. Looking back to my past semesters, I would say that I have no regret since I have tried my best in my studies. I had dropped countless tears due to the stressful student life over here. I complained so many times to my friends about my loneliness and even told that I want to commit suicide before. In the past semesters, all I did was studying and I didn't even bother to socialize and makes friends but I have started to take the initiative to expand my social circles by making more friends. I was sick these few days and my energy level was so low that I feel too weak to handle anything but I realized something. I realized that there is no limit to my commitment to my responsibility as a student but there is a limit to what my physical body can endure. Since primary school, I always choose fulfilling my responsibility as a study over my health. I could still remember that I had a fever and can't really wake up for class when I was in primary school and yet all I think about is the homework I need to hand in that day and the classes that I needed to attend. It is really not easy for me to continue doing my work when I knew that somehow my body can't really take it anymore.That's why I broke down so often and cried but this is my own choice. I can only pray that I would have enough strength to endure the pain. Hopefully my efforts will be paid off well. Could I finish writing my position paper on time? Sigh.......

原来我是那么地软弱

我看着那一大堆做不完的功课时，摸摸自己烫热的脸颊，我几乎失去了以前引以为荣的毅力。我用被单盖着自己的头，紧紧地闭上双眼，心里面好希望我能从这世界消失，但我发觉我却没有勇气那么做。

I still have a long way to go

Today, when I go into my house, I realized that there is somebody in my bedroom. He is the old maintenance guy who came to fix the kitchen light. He chatted with me for quite a long. I guess he somehow recognized me because there is something in my house that happened to be broken for some reasons and from the flooding experience that nobody has in the history of the apartment that I living in. I feel kinda bad since my bedroom is still messy as usual but it is definitely better than last time. But, instead of criticizing about the cleanliness of the house, he actually turned out to be very helpful and he even checked to see if there is other things that need to be fixed. Before the old man left, he even praised me by saying "I know that you have been through a lot and you really did a good job. I can't imagine what I will do if I were you." I was touched since I thought it must be very troublesome for him to come every single time and yet he is so considering and helpful. It is really an overwhelming experience for me to live in this apartment. I didn't even have flood in Malaysia before and yet I have experience twice in the same apartment. My heart was broken over here and I cry so much compared to the first year I came to US. I can't even cook a proper meal before and now I can cook whatever I like. I started my first job a few months after I moved in and the best part is I was able to do most of my works in my room. This is the place where Shamini stayed before she left and whenever I saw her red comforter, I think of the times I spent with her. Our relationship became much closer a few months before she left and she even slept beside me in the same bed before . Even though I had had so many sad experience in the apartment, I still like it more compared to my dorm room since I think of it as my second home. There is still a few months left before I moved out to a new apartment so I really need to appreciate every single moment that I spend here.

My Sushi ^_^

Kimchi Pancake

怀念从前

再别康桥

轻轻的我走了，
正如我轻轻的来；
我轻轻的招手，
作别西天的云彩。
　
那河畔的金柳，
是夕阳中的新娘；
波光里的艳影，
在我的心头荡漾。
　
软泥上的青荇，
油油的在水底招摇；
在康河的柔波里，
我甘心做一条水草！
　
那榆荫下的一潭，
不是清泉，
是天上虹；
揉碎在浮藻间，
沉淀着彩虹似的梦。
　
寻梦？撑一支长篙，
向青草更青处漫溯；
满载一船星辉，
在星辉斑斓里放歌。
　
但我不能放歌，
悄悄是别离的笙箫；
夏虫也为我沉默，
沉默是今晚的康桥！
　
悄悄的我走了，
正如我悄悄的来；
我挥一挥衣袖，
不带走一片云彩。


这首诗是我第一次在众人面前朗诵的第一首诗。记得当时我们正在讨论诗歌的含义，沉默寡言的我终于鼓起勇气在同学们面前发表我的意见。胆小的我怕得忘词，说了一堆不经大脑的话。老师先是不出声地望着我，几乎在思考些什么。过后，她便叫我在同学们面前朗诵这一首诗。我只好硬着头皮照办了。朗诵完毕后，同学们竟以热烈的掌声表示对我的支持与鼓励。我还记得我的好友还在记念册上告诉我纵使她认识我许久但却不知道我会朗诵诗歌呢！虽然事隔已久，但如今那首诗仍不时的浮现在我的脑海里。 悄悄的我走了，正如我悄悄的来，我挥一挥衣袖，不带走一片云彩…那潇洒自如的态度正是我所向往的。悄悄的来，悄悄的离开，不为即将降临的离别而落泪。可是，难道世界上真的有人能不为悲欢离合而落半滴眼泪吗？欢喜之泪，悲伤之泪，我想眼泪的存在一定有它的意义吧。

Food Again

Tom Yam






Curry Chicken (My favorite) ^_^




Last night I decided to cook curry chicken for Teda and Ily. Teda says my cooking skills improve again.Haahaa....I like the curry so much. Even though I spend quite a lot of time in cooking in but I feel so happy when I found out that it actually turned out to be so delicious and my friends loves so much!!!^_^



Brownies

A tear of me

Don't ask me the reason behind this tear because it will bring another tears to me.

Yummy!!!!- All the food that I cooked recently

Steamed Fish






Pot Stickers(Fried Dumplings)





Chicken Soup (Good for preventing flu according to the recipe)



Kimchi Fried Rice

我踏出了第一步…但

说真的，我从来也未因身边的朋友太少而积极地去认识更多朋友。或许，是因为我太幸运了，打从小学开始已经认识了一个难得的知己，而且转眼间便与她同窗六年。我想到目前为止，我生命中最快乐的日子莫过于中学时与她相处的时候了。我们几乎拥有相同的梦想，相同的兴趣，甚至拥有相同的思想。但，为了我的前途，我们却被迫分开了。我记得她知道我得到奖学金的那一刻是悲伤的，她当然不是不替我高兴，而是为我们的分离感到不舍。我曾经以为朋友不在乎多或少，只要是知心朋友，那就足够了。但，近来我发觉自己总是坐在课室的一个小小的的角落，静静地听课，很少与身边的人交谈。每当我的教授要求我们与身边的朋友交换意见时，我的孤独变得更加明显了，甚至有一次我的教授必须走到我面前说服我去找其他同学讨论当天的课题，我只好硬着头皮照办了。今晚的我终于提起勇气，主动参与一个晚会，希望能结交更多与我同样课系的朋友。可是，当我到达晚会的餐厅时，我却感到失望透了。当我正为不知该坐那儿的问题而苦恼时，我看见了刚才与我一同搭巴士的女子。我犹豫了一会儿，好不容易才鼓起勇气，开口问她是否能与她同座，但却被她拒绝了。过后，我只好默默地离开晚会的现场。当我独自走在那无人的道路时，我只能告诉自己至少我勇敢地踏出了第一步。我想我再也没有勇气主动去结交新朋友了。

郁金香

郁金香是我的最爱。上个星期我心血来潮，为自己买了一束浅紫色的郁金香，希望为我那沉闷的房间带来生气。每天早上起来后，我总会望一望那一朵朵美丽的郁金香，它们的吸引力足以让我不知不觉地靠近它们。那淡淡的花香唤醒了我，告诉我这又是新的一天的开始，让我开始像它们一样，期待着那温暖的阳光。你知道我为什么对郁金香情有独钟吗？对我而言，玫瑰太妖艳了，即使为玫瑰换上浅色的衣裳，它还是藏不住它那扭曲且凹凸的花瓣，而郁金香虽平凡但却散发出那简单的美玫瑰也太脆弱了，总是很容易凋谢，而郁金香那厚厚的花瓣让它看起来总是那么的坚强，即使知道它那短暂的生命即将结束，依然维持不变，几乎拥有无穷的生命力。其实，郁金香最大的特色在于它那似真似假的外表。有人说人生如梦，郁金香就像复杂的人生一样，似真似假，有时候连我也分不清真与假。花儿的盛开不为人们的赞许，而是为了延续它那宝贵的生命。其实，人人都有机会观赏花儿的美，但人们往往只会称赞美丽的花儿，只有懂得欣赏它的人才会懂得珍惜它那潜有的美。

Egg tarts

The first tray of egg tarts (It may not look very nice but it is actually delicious)


I found out that using the muffin pan actually makes the egg tarts look ugly. This is the second tray(I didn't use the muffin pan this time).

After that, the tarts look even better.


The whole process of making the egg tarts took me more than 4 hours because rolling the dough for the crust is really a painful task. However, it smells so nice when I am baking it. The tarts really taste nice but I doubt I would ever make it again because it is really a tiring job.

My Valentine

My gifts



Tulips that I loved so much

Happy Valentine's Day!!! ^_^

I thought there is no point celebrating Valentine's Day when I am single but I get more I have ever expected. Ily woke me up early this morning to wish me Happy Valentine's Day but I was half asleep and can't even open my eyes. The next thing I realized was that she even brought a cute pink roses and a heart-shaped box of chocolate for me. I think this is the first time I received chocolate for Valentine's Day. Oh....she is so sweet and thoughtful. Then, when I check my email today, I received an e-card from my mum wishing me "Happy Hearts Day". I realized that today is not only a day for a lover to express his or her feelings towards the significant other but also a special day to show your love towards your friends and family. Valentine's Day is a celebration of love. I feel so ashamed that I always complain that I am too far away from love but I realized that love is actually by my side all this while.

To my friends who are having exams on this special day including me, "Good luck for your exams".
To all my beloved friends, "I love you and thanks for your love!!!!!!Happy Valentine's Day!!!!"

最真挚的感动

很多时候人总会在人群中感到迷茫。我承认我是一个没有主见的跟随者，总爱跟着别人的脚步走，往往忽略了自己的需要。 也因为这样我迷失了自己，也遗忘了当初的梦想。但最近观看了恶作剧2吻之后，我几乎有所启发。我所盼望的不是荣华富贵，而是助人所带来的快乐。就像之前的我一直想要有一个 难忘又特别的生日，但最后我还是选择了跟几个亲密的朋友一起庆祝。我亲自动手做了一个蛋糕并煮了我最拿手的椰浆饭，希望他们能与我分享我踏入二十一岁的那一天。虽然我知道这样的庆祝方式有点太简单了，但我却觉得很幸福。我亲爱的家人，你们知道吗？我的愿望其实只不过是希望能亲自为你们下厨准备一顿丰富的晚餐，然后看着你们吃的开开心心的样子我就已经心满意足了。我发觉幸福真的可以很简单，只要有一颗知足的心，幸福就会在你左右。

A tiring day-Changing carpet

I slept around 6am today then somebody from the Ramshaw real estate came into my bedroom and wake me up 8am telling me to move all my stuffs away from the floor. I had to drag myself up and start moving things around. Before I am able to get up from the bed, the girl who wakes me up left already.Then,another person from the company called to inform me that I had to be in the house for the whole day to monitor the whole carpet-changing process. When I am worrying about not being able to attend classes for today, my neighbor volunteered to stay at the house for me so I have to run to class. When I came back from class, I was speechless once I stepped into my apartment. All the things including the furnitures in the apartment are thrown in a messy way in the living room. Moreover, some leftover food and rubbish also serve as decorations to the living room. All the carpets on the floor of every single room are being pulled out. I stared blankly to my living room for a while.I feel so dizzy and helpless. I feel like crying aloud. Is it really my apartment?Is it really a place for human being to live in? I know that it is good that the company is willing to change the carpets in the whole apartment for free but is it necessary to throw my stuffs everywhere and mess up all the things? I can't imagine how much time it takes to get things organized again. I guess I am not going to have a nice sleep tonight again.

Flood

Before






After